Bad kids, bad kids, whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do when mama comes for you? This week we talk discipline. Why is it so hard to get these damn kids in line!? Ali shares an ingenious method for keeping the peace in paradise….listen up and join us for the #checkmarkchallenge (it’s not what you think).
Didn’t I just give you dinner yesterday?!!?
Do you dread meal-planning, food-budgeting, grocery-shopping, cooking, and cleanup and wish you could just just feed your kids from a trough of goldfish and cheerios? Then this is the ep for you. Or do you #foodstagram your#easy #healthful meals and get off on watching your kid eat broccoli? Either way listen and judge along because this ep is all about FOOD.
You know you’re a mom when ‘roid rage refers to those hemorrhoids you got in month 8 that never really went away. Cool. This ep we talk about how our postpartum bodies are hashtag strong and hashtag beautiful, but let’s face it: hashtag fuct.
Hey moms, did you know that you used up all your sick days before your baby showed up? No calling out now! So what happens when mom goes down? When she has the flu, or she’s hungover, or she’s pregnant again, or she (oh shit!) breaks her shoulder?? Then what? I guess dad just does everything and she sleeps til she’s better? Uhhh….yeah….Listen to what happens when mom.goes.down (hint: SOS).
Better than chocolate, sex, money, or even wine. Yes, it’s S L E E P. What lengths did you go to get some zzz’s after your baby was born?? Did you follow the book, your heart, or something in between? This week we discuss what worked and what didn’t. Mostly what didn’t, because nothing worked. RIP ZZZ’s.
It’s gluten free, grain free, dairy free, organic and paleo AF. But girl, you gonna EAT that!?!!? I am talking about your PLACENTA. Womb to table. In this ep we chat about what we did and didn’t do with ours….
Remember how 6 weeks after you had your your baby you were healed, rested, gorgeous, feeling sexy as hell and ready to get laid all night long? UM. NO. So WTF is with the doc telling you and your man that you can go all the way at 6 weeks?? What a dick. Listen up as we talk sex after childbirth.
Listen in as we discuss the ultimate horror movie: Babies on a Plane. Who let all these mother*ckin babies on this mother plane?!? How is a mom supposed to cope with flying with her kids? iPad? Candy? Benadryl? BEER!?!?
You know how you catch TLC’s Waterfalls on the radio and you’re instantly beamed back to rocking out in the car at the top of your lungs without a care in the world? (RIGHT?!?). Well…what takes you back to your first days as a mom? Your first exhausted, insane, body-busted, days with your baby. Listen in as we discuss the triggers that set off our post-birth PTSD: Paging Dr. Carter: this one is weird!
Mommy Brain should be the ultimate compliment. Why? Because moms are busy as shit, tired as shit, and taking care of mad shit. Sadly Mommy Brain doesn’t equal a free ride to Harvard. It equals you lost your keys, forgot your wallet, fell asleep at work, and wait, where’s that baby?!???
So if you know where babies come from, then you know how to get one and how to um…not get one. Right? Wrong. Listen up as we discuss how and when we first became moms. For some of us it was too easy. For some, too hard. And for some….juuuuust right (so right that maybe she planned it to the last lace detail). Warning: if you thought it was the stork, this episode is NOT for you.
How do you prioritize your relationships? Who comes first, baby? Or baby daddy? Well obviously the one who is crying the loudest and needs you the most! So wait, who comes first?!?? Listen in as we discuss our post partum relationship priorities. Spoiler: sleep is the new sex.
Baes, if you’re a mom, you already know You’re Doing It All Wrong. Not only are you hashtag blessed, but you’re also probably hashtag guilt tripping 24×7. Are you spending enough time with your kids, feeding them vegetables, helping them become responsible citizens of the world, or just totally spacing out, letting them watch hours of TV, eat chemicals (yum!),and forgetting to snap their stroller harness??? Find out how we’re doing and dealing with Mom Guilt.
We love to peep our friends’ sweet kids on social media, but let’s get real: some moms need to shut the blog up. From lighting, to posing, to content there are some mommy blogs that just make us feel like a ripe diaper. Oh your kid loves to read silently and serenely on a white blanket, pausing only to say “I love you mommy.” ? THATS COOL, YOU LIAR. Listen to us discuss (and admit to) the biggest mom blog #noshedidnts.
We discuss the most important part of your birth plan: your pubes. Sure, your doula was on speed dial, your play list was on fleek, and your meditative breathing was ready to go out the *explicative* window, but mom, how did you prep your pubes? Don’t lie, you sweated the hair show. So did we.
How did you feel about your partner immediately after bringing that baby into the world? Did you look at him with fresh love or deep, scary, sleep deprived rage? Listen to our tales of post-partum husband hatred, one of the most important mommy milestones. Don’t worry, all the husbands survived to live another day, and in some cases, even make another baby.