The Husband Dilemma.

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Back to Work.

 

Back to work after a baby? Like having a baby is some kind of vacation 😂 . Well,  have you gone back to the work force after a baby? When? At 2 months, 3 months, a year, a decade? Or did you become a stay at home mom? Or did you work part time? Or did you work full time from home? Or did you work part time from home? Or did you find a new career? We did. Between the five of us, we have approached working after baby from many angles. But they all have one thing in common: HARD. Listen as we talk about what we did when maternity leave ran out and the bills ran up.

#nursingandcursing #nursingandcursingpodcast #momsofinstagram #momsofig #grittyparenting #motherhoodpluggedin #flashesofreallife #parenting #momlife #honestparenting #nailingit #failingit

Parenting Past 7pm.

Omg you guys. This week we tried to record an episode about how hard it is to survive after 7pm. How your patience hits the skids just as the kids go from hard to impossible. I mean, by 7pm mom has been on the clock for 12-13 hours, often longer. For years. Would you want your uber driver or doctor to be on her 14th hour of a 19 hour shift!?! Let’s face it: 7pm-9pm is the child abuse window. And we’ve all been there.\n\n

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Circumcision with guest Laura Perlongo.

Our friend Laura Perlongo is pregnant with her second baby and her first son. Yay!  This week we try and help her figure out whether she should have him circumcised or not. And even though the answer seems obvious, whether or not to cut your baby’s foreskin turns out to be as confusing and controversial as whether or not you should cut bangs.  Aka: the answer is a simple\n\n

Yesnomaybewtf. Join us welcoming Laura to Nursing and Cursing!!!

 

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Potty Training.

Oh shit…we talkin potty training. Some of us planned it out perfectly and followed a strategy based on love and encouragement. Some of us just reached a breaking point with diapers and house broke our kids like puppies, and some of us called upon the power of Santa and a Christmas miracle to make it happen.  What can we say mamas, diapers happen!\n\n

#pottytraining #nursingandcursing #nursingandcursingpodcast #momsofinstagram #momsofig #grittyparenting #motherhoodpluggedin #flashesofreallife #parenting #momlife #honestparenting #nailingit #failingit #nursing #babiesofinstagram #toddlersofinstagram #raisingkids #birth

 

“Bad Mom” or “Real Mom?”

Hey mom. This week we break down the difference between being a “good mom,” and a “bad mom,” and guess what: it’s the same shit show, just a different filter. Plus Chriddy gets a reputation as a stoner and Kate busts a sitter with a problem.
\nAnd yes, before you can ask: you’re a good mom. And we got you.\n\n#nursingandcursing #nursingandcursingpodcast #momsofinstagram #momsofig #grittyparenting #motherhoodpluggedin #flashesofreallife #parenting #momlife #honestparenting #nailingit #failingit #nursing #babiesofinstagram #toddlersofinstagram #raisingkids #birth

 

YOLO vs. SOLO?

Mamas!!! You only live once!! You gotta grab life by the labias and say yes! Friends, concerts, parties, trips…GET IT!  But we are so tired. We don’t wanna YOLO, we wanna SOLO. Aka we want the house to ourselves, a sweet mystery on PBS  and no one’s company but our own. This week we discuss how we wanna spend our precious down time, and Molly cops to a crippling case of FOMO.  Listen in as we discuss how we gave up the game and got lame.\n\n

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Christine’s Birth Story: Matilda.

Christine is highly efficient, badass, and deeply judgmental of her husbands’s clothing choices. Why would it be any different when she’s in labor?? Listen up as Christine tells us about the speedy af arrival of her second baby. And yes, Sarah talks about her toilet /bidet again.\n\n

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Drop-Off Hell.

Moms, we missed you!!! Welcome to season 4! This week is all about Drop Off at day care and school. How can something so right feel so wrong? How many mornings of clinging and wailing are you supposed to deal with before you’re allowed to drink your pumpkin spice latte in peace?!! As usual, we have no clue. But we love you and we are so happy to be back on the mic.  This school year we are all about the bidet and the namaste. You read that right.

#nursingandcursing #nursingandcursingpodcast #momsofinstagram #momsofig #grittyparenting #motherhoodpluggedin #flashesofreallife #parenting #momlife #honestparenting #nailingit #failingit #nursing #babiesofinstagram #toddlersofinstagram #raisingkids #birth #dropoff #school

Packing.

Season Finale ,Mamas!!!\n\n

Omg we have soooo much much baggage. And we ain’t talking about how even a commercial about restless leg syndrome can trigger an emotional breakdown and a pint of Ben n Jerry’s. No we are talking about actual literal baggage . Like the kind you have to pack when you go anywhere with kids. And the crippling anxiety about over / under packing. And trying to be organized. And trying to leave your house clean. And trying not to hate your partner when they grab a pair of shorts and a charger and say they’re ready to go. Going places this summer? Listen in as we agonize about packing and traveling with kids. DO NOT CALL IT A VACATION.

 

#nursingandcursing #nursingandcursingpodcast #momsofinstagram #momsofig #grittyparenting #motherhoodpluggedin #flashesofreallife #parenting #momlife #honestparenting #nailingit #failingit #nursing #babiesofinstagram #toddlersofinstagram #raisingkids #packing #summer #vacation

 

Naked & Afriad.

momrades. How long do you let your kids see you naked? Let’s face it, between the swearing and the saggy boobs, we are a walking R rated movie, and our kids have front row seats. When should we cover up? After 5, before 15? Before they body shame us with questions about our pubes ? ASAP!? We have no idea. And as usual, in Hawaii all they’re wearing is coconut oil.

Money.

Mother can you spare a dime ?

This week we are talking about…money.  Are you a saver or a spender or just a regular old-school broke ass parent? How relaxing is talking about money with your partner? Sooooooo fun. Our fave convo after the one about how we never have sex anymore.

Ugh. Motherhood is really fucked up: your vag just gets looser and your budget just gets tighter.

#nursingandcursing #nursingandcursingpodcast #momsofinstagram #momsofig #grittyparenting #motherhoodpluggedin #flashesofreallife #parenting #momlife #honestparenting #nailingit #failingit #nursing #babiesofinstagram #toddlersofinstagram #raisingkids #birth #money

Carcation.

Moms know how to make the best of anything.  What do driving around looking for parking, sitting in traffic, hanging in the Target lot, or sitting In your car in your driveway, have In common? Without kids, these moments are MINI VACATIONS. Get you an iced mocha and a charged phone and get ready to sit in your car and scroll for a mile on your phone IN PEACE. Welcome to your car-cation, baby.

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Would You Rather … ???!?!?

Would you rather….fold and put away ten loads of laundry or sit in an hour of traffic with a screaming infant ? Let your 3 yr old paint her own nails or your 10 year old dye her own hair? Fly solo with your kids or give your husband a hand job a day? IMPOSSIBLE CHOICES. Listen up, as we play would you rather, the mama edition. And join us for the #blowjobchallenge. We start….”tomorrow.”\n\n

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Sarah’s Birth Story.

Self Care.

When was the last time you prioritized yourself? As in: made it to a doctor’s appointment at the first sign of sickness or injury? Took a shower when you needed one rather than when you could find 4 mins where no one would miss you? Exercised when you wanted to? Ate something other than sandwich crusts or cold chicken nuggets? Took the space to rest when you needed it ? Waxed your ass? We are talking about self care. Better known to moms as Don’t Worry about Me,I’m Fine.
#nursingandcursing #nursingandcursingpodcast #momsofinstagram #momsofig #grittyparenting #motherhoodpluggedin #flashesofreallife #parenting #momlife #honestparenting #nailingit #failingit #nursing #babiesofinstagram #toddlersofinstagram #raisingkids #birth #selfcare

Pets.

Ok, so they’re sweet and affectionate and loyal, but you also need to clean up their shit. what’s the point of …. husbands, sorry we mean PETS. This week we come to terms with pets after kids: how many things can one mom take care of? Does your kid need a childhood pet to become a kind and caring person? It’s the dog’s fault the dad on This is Us died. We rest our case.

#nursingandcursing #nursingandcursingpodcast #momsofinstagram #momsofig #grittyparenting #motherhoodpluggedin #flashesofreallife #parenting #momlife #honestparenting #nailingit #failingit #nursing #babiesofinstagram #toddlersofinstagram #raisingkids #birth #pets

The Morning Routine.

No sooner have you bribed, threatened, begged, pleaded for your little angels to go the eff to sleep, it’s time to get up and do the morning routine: get dressed, make lunches, pack bags, and get out the door to school + work with dragging, whiny kids. How come they’re never this tired on a Saturday morning ? Holy shit, the mornings are such a mess it’s almost enough to make us want to homeschool. almost

Free Princess Kate!

Heels, hose, a dress, a blowout, and a photo shoot in front of entire world 7 hours after giving birth to an 8+lb baby. Is this badass or dumbass? Is Princess Kate the ultimate symbol of digging deep female power, or is she like the rest of us: a mom with a shitty job and crappy maternity leave?!? Well we all saw the Crown and we all have babies, so we obvs the experts here!

Did I Have Postpartum Depression?

Mamas, how did you feel after your babies were born? This week we are talking about how *we* felt …we felt like shit. We cried, we screamed, we panicked, we scared our husbands and freaked out our neighbors. Is this normal!?! What *is* normal when you’re talking about post partum feelings? We don’t know how you should feel, but this week we are getting REAL about how it was for us. It. Was. Hard.

Waitlisted.

This week we are talking about getting our kids into school. From daycare to preschool to middle school, we are facing more rejections and waitlists than that time we got a 1 on the SAT and had to re-evaluate our college choices and career dreams. What gives?!?! Oh well, dunno much about skool, but we sure got class! Plus our best #Fail of all time.

You Asked For It !

Momrades!!! You’ve got questions and we’ve got …usually more questions. This week we took parenting questions and personal questions from listeners. We pretty much had no answers for the parenting ones, but between all of us, we were basically able to remember Christine’s nickname. Sorry we can’t help with your kid’s hunger strike, but we love ya!!!

Other People’s Pregnancies.

This week we are talking about Other People’s Pregnancies. Why do they seem shorter / cuter/ more radiant than our own? But really this episode is about Molly and Kate putting their decades old friendship to the test : listen in to our most tense conversation yet. #imgonnaattackyou #aretheystillfriends #didtheymakeup

Mom Friends.

Behind every mother….is another mother. Your kid can’t remember what his homework is? Need a last minute Halloween costume for your someone who suddenly hates what he wanted to be yesterday? Don’t have anything to send for class breakfast? Have a meeting at the same time as pickup? Need to vent about visiting family? Cry about your deepest parenting fears? Who do you call? Hint: ITS NOT YOUR PARTNER. It’s your mom friends. Those ladies in the trenches with you. Leave no mom behind!

Time Savers.

Hey Momrades!
What’s a mom’s most important resource ? Coffee? wine? Birth control? Delivery? Name of a great sitter? NOPE! It’s…time. No matter what, there’s never enough of it. This week we are chit chatting about what we do to save time. Some are obvious: we haven’t had a shower since 2014. And some are a little more brilliant ….and some are basically child abuse, but we won’t tell if you don’t!

Guys, What Should I Do?!

99 problems and one of them is a car seat, one of them is a candy addicted toddler and one is a kid who won’t sleep. Ugh. This mini ep is just us crowd sourcing the problems on our plate this week. Drop us a line with any suggestions! ❤️

NOT MY DEPARTMENT.

Hey Momrades! what are you responsible for? Omg just kidding we know the answer to that (every-effing-thing). Maybe this is an easier question: is there ANYTHING you’re *NOT* responsible for?!? Anything that’s
NOT YOUR DEPARTMENT? Anything that your partner knows is automatically their problem? This week we are talking about where we draw the line, if we do at all 😳

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EATING OUT WITH KIDS.

It’s 5:15pm. You’re all hungry and tired, but the sink is full of breakfast dishes and the fridge is empty. you know what sounds good? A glass of wine while the kids color the kiddie menu and you order $5.99 chicken tenders and fries while you and your partner catch up on your day…cut to: the kids are screaming and shrieking so you give them your phone, they knock over the drinks, no one touches the food, you’ve never been so flustered and it costs $96.55. This week we are talking dining out with kids. Better get that grilled cheese to go, Mom.

How Do You Know When You’re Done?

How many kids should you have? There’s the number you want, the number your partner wants, the number your saggy boobs want, the number you can afford, and the space you have at home. Why hasn’t someone made an app for this!?! Seriously tho, how do you know when you’re done having kids? This episode is all about answering that question. Leave a comment and let us know if kate should have one more?!

SICK KIDS.

The kids are sick. You know what that means: no school, no work, no sleep, and enough laundry to break you down. What’s it this time? Strep? Ear infection? Foot and mouth? Fifths ? Lemme guess a “virus”??!
This week we discuss what we do and do not do when our kids are sick. Ps isn’t it weird how your kids only get sick at 2am when you have so much to do the next day?!?

Birthday Parties.

Another year keeping your kid alive! You did it Mom!! Congrats, girl 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 all you gotta do now is plan a birthday party to please your kid, his friends, your friends, your in laws, your mom, your husband, your budget, and most importantly, strangers on the internet. Before you pay a deposit on a bouncy house and fire off those evites, take a listen to this ep all about KIDS BIRTHDAY PARTIES !!!

Got My Period.

You poor thing. We know you gotta pick up the older, make those turkey meatballs, finish the laundry, and feed the baby … but all the while, there’s something thick, warm and daunting slowly leaking through your sweat pants, and it’s proof that Mother Nature DGAF what’s on your to-do list. Join us as we discuss what it means to suffer through your period after you’ve had a kid. Warning, this episode is NSFMen. There’s nothing worse than your post-baby period. Period.

Silent Night? Yeah Right !

Here’s a little stocking stuffer for you to listen to while you spend 5 hours wrapping shit that they will open in 5 seconds and play with for 5 minutes and will haunt your credit card for 5 months. We love you mamas!!!!

Phubbing.

Huh? Wha? Mmmm hmmm sure sweetie go ahead, you can cut your sister’s hair.
WAIT WHAT NO!!! I was scrolling mindlessly on my phone while you came in here to grab the scissors , but I’m done insta stalking my bff’s boyfriend’s ex girlfriend now and IM READY TO PARENT!!!! Put the knife down!
Well girls, this week we are discussing and confessing PHUBBING OUR KIDS….the phenomenon of sticking our heads in our phones and ignoring (snubbing) our kids. We are not proud, but we are also not alone. So go ahead, listen on your phone. We won’t tell.

Pumping.

Pumping sucks. LITERALLY. This week we are discussing how/where/why we pump. Share our panic when the chips are down, the tits are out, and we’re hiding in a bathroom stall tryina squeeze out a few precious ounces before our lunch break is over. Plus ali shares some #wipingwisdom that she used on her 4 yr old. Just another pro move from Hawaii. ENJOY.

Halloween.

Happy Halloween, Moms!!
You know what scares the shit out of us? Hand making our kids’ costumes for months and then letting them eat candy for weeks. So what’s a mom to do? Call in the switch witch (the WHAT!)?  Order some costumes on amazon? Skip the whole thing ? This week we discuss the lengths that we will go to ruin the fun on Halloween, and Sarah makes her husband an autumnal salad. A what ?

Never Would I Ever.

Moms, we know you planned to feed them organically, limit screen time, set clear and kind boundaries and never ever have sex with them in your bed. So, how’s that all working out for you? This week, it’s about the things we said we would never do as parents – but somehow we are out here-doing them. #Nursing&Inserting

From 1 to 2 Kids.

Names.

Names are just like assholes. Everyone has one (Actually babies are just like assholes too, but that’s another ep).
How did you pick your baby’s name? Was it a name you have been sitting on since grade school, just waiting and waiting to use on your very own real life Baby Alive ? Or did you use a family name? Or a baby name book? Or an app?! Or did you steal it from a friend (it’s ok, we won’t tell). And did your partner have a say, or nah? This ep we talk about what goes into naming your newborn. But for real, it’s never ok to joke about a baby’s name, Roger that?

Season 2 |Ep: 7 | Parenting: Public VS. Private

Your 3 year old is lying on the floor screaming his head off for no/every reason. Do you gently encourage him, “Sweetie, use your words!”  or do you hold his chin just a teeny bit too hard and hiss, “Knock it off before I really give you something to cry about?!”” Well, that all depends who is watching, of course!! This episode is all about parenting in public vs parenting in private.

Season 2 | Ep6 | Labor Majora!

You guys!!! Know what’s harder than labor, newborns, bloody nipples, no sleep, or life with two kids!?!? Getting a mom on the mic just a few weeks after having her second baby. But we did it!!! Listen in as molly tells us all about that late labor and answers the most pressing question we have: Did she have sex to get that baby out!?!?!? WELL MOLLY, DID YOU!?!

Season 2 | Ep:5 | OVERDUE

Yay molly had a baby! He’s 3 years old now and loves the ninja turtles, face painting, and eating spaghetti.

That’s because at 41+ weeks pregnant, Molly’s last baby is *still* her oldest son. WTF baby, where you at?!? This EP we catch up with molly and talk about the mental and physical pressure of going past your due date as your family and friends balance the demands of the real world while being on call for your (late) labor. Plus molly tells us what “electro leg” is and we decide if she should have sex to get the baby out. Well, should she!?!

Season 2 | Ep: 4 | Holidaze

Did baby Jesus sleep through the night!? Just wondering over here as we try to manage school holiday parties, kids high on candy canes, visiting family, Amazon prime, wrapping catastrophes, lies about Santa, and OMG that f*cking elf. And is Molly gonna have a Christmas baby!?!?
Ahhh, the holidaze. We’re here for you mama. Call us the 5 wise women bringing gifts of wine. And wine. And CHEER!

Season 2 | Episode 3 |Target Love

Admit it mom, no matter what you tell yourself, you didn’t just “run in real quick,” for a 500-pack of 7th gen diapers, soap, the latest Nate Berkus wall tapestry, your kid’s prescription from the pharmacy, or even a latte. No mom, you needed a sweet fix of the kind of sanity and salvation that for some reason can only be found at Target. Listen in as we discuss how Target went from being a store to Safe Space. 🎯🙌🏼

Season 2 | Ep 2 | Pregnancy Sex

Sex during pregnancy…who, when, how, and why. Mostly why. Like WHY.
Were you a luscious fertile earth mother ready to go all night or were you out of commission and letting your pubes grow to your knees. Or a combo? Whatever your style was, we got you covered.

Season 2 | Ep 1 | Back to School

https://audioboom.com/boos/5105458-season-2-ep-1-back-to-school

What’s your favorite part about Back to School? The million dollar school supply list? The emotional trauma of dropping off a kid who’s devastated to be there? The Google doc of play dates, parties, sports, and activities? The waking up in the dark to pack a lunch that will come home UNTOUCHED, the passive aggressive PTA emails, or the lice? Wasn’t Back to School supposed to mean twinkies on the couch and General Hospital!?! Listen to this episode in the doctors office while your pediatrician  runs that strep test….(spoiler alert: it’s positive)

Ep: 21 Welcome to the Jungle

Being a mother can feel like being cluelessly lost in the wilderness with no way out and no one to help you. Usually this is a metaphor. But for one of our hosts it was recently a literal reality. Join us for a very special episode and hear how one of us coped when a 3 mile family walk (without daddy) turned into an overnight  emergency. Mom, what would you do if a regular day turned into a fucking SOS 🚨🚨🚨🚨?

Episode 20: Christine’s Birth Story

Welcome to the second installment of our birth story series!  In this episode, Chrissy starts having contractions and hits LA rush hour for the hospital  while screaming the whole way at her husband about how messy the car is because: LABOR.  Our sweet story starts where every baby story starts…with diareahh. Grab the wet wipes n and the wine and listen up.

Episode 19: Mother’s Day

Happy Mothers Day you guys!!! What kind of day are you planning to tell your partner to surprise you with this year!? Did you order a gift for yourself? Help your kids make you a card?! Or are you leaving it all to your baby daddy and kids to fuck up? This episode we chat about our hopes and dreams for Mother’s Day. Thank you for listening Mamas, We ❤️You.

 

 

Episode 18: Kate’s Birth Story

 

Kate’s Homebirthstagram was perfect: it all happened in the Willow filter, Kate’s hair was in a perfectly messy bun, her skin glistened and glowed, and her baby slipped blissfully and effortlessly into the arms of her burly husband who was wading shirtless through the birthing pool like a merman. Turns out Sarah was there and remembers it a little differently…..listen up for the first in our birth story series.